*Read to end, and download your FREE anger tracker today*
A few months ago, I launched my free seven-day e-course “Decoding Intensity”. Those who sign up receive a daily email for seven consecutive days in which I break down some of the basics regarding gifted or twice-exceptional children and overexcitabilities.
In the first message, I ask that the reader reply and share with me their most daunting concern regarding parenting and educating gifted or twice-exceptional children. The overwhelming response was anger.
Parents and teachers of these sensitive and unique children are wondering why their child’s temper flashes so intensely when faced with even minor frustrations and disappointment.
Do you cringe when you imagine your child,
losing at checkers?
not getting a part in a play?
having their seat accidentally taken by another person?
facing iPad time limits?
You’re not alone.
In a previous post I shared,
“…anger in gifted children is often fueled by anxiety… And if anxiety triggers a fight-or-flight response, some gifted children are going to fight.”
The next question then becomes, “Why are gifted and twice-exceptional kids so anxious?” There is no definitive answer to that question, as the circumstances that lead to anxiety are myriad and layered. Anything from diet to bullying to misunderstood learning differences can create anxiety in a child.
The first step to understanding what is making a child anxious and angry is to observe what is triggering those feelings in the first place. Tracking what happens before a blow-up can give you powerful insight into what changes can be made to bring peace back to both of your lives.
To this end, I’ve created a downloadable free tracker for you to use as you observe what is triggering your child’s explosions. When using the tracker, pay attention to the whole child in addition to trying to draw a direct line between cause and effect. This means recording if the child ate, slept the previous night, or has a big event like a birthday or trip coming up along with any obvious events that activated your child’s anger.
After using this tracker, you may notice certain trends or cycles related to your child’s behavior and mood… which is excellent! This data is going to be crucial to you as you formulate a plan for better supporting your child and creating peace and harmony at home and in the classroom. Reach out to me, or leave a comment on my blog letting me know what you learn. I think this is going to be quite a revelatory experience for you! I can’t wait to hear all about it.
What's Making Your 2e Child Angry?
Sign up now to claim your anger tracker. A form that I designed to help you zero in on what's going on with your child.
“Tracker” is not a good term, considering that children are being monitored, tracked, data-mapped and then lobbied commercially on a massive scale now.
Interesting point. I used the term “tracker” as it pertains to my favorite form of journaling, and planning using a bullet journal. Have you heard of a bullet journal? It’s a flexible system that encourages the tracking of all sorts of things, from finances to moods.
I was unable to get your PDF, I’d like to read it! Never got an email with it,
For some reason the original link didn’t work. I resent the email with a working one. It should be in your inbox. If not, let me know.
This is great information for parents, Jade. It’s so important to look for patterns. What a cool idea to create a tracker! (Tell us more about the conference you’re attending and your role as a mentor…)
Thank you, Paula! I hope to post a blog about my experience. I was tapped for this event because of my experience with education entrepreneurship, neurodivergent children, and micro-schools. All killer, no filler. 🙂
Thank you , Jade for all you do and your passion for our kiddos, I have never heard of Bullet Journaling thank you for mentioning it. 🙂
Let me know if you try it out! It’s a system that has truly changed my life for the better.
Hi Jade, I love that you are providing a very concrete tool to help parents notice what patterns and/or needs are coming up and requiring more attention and care! I wanted to add that I think sometimes parents of gifted children are often gifted themselves and may also have emotional overexciteabilities. This, of course, makes it that much more challenging to endure, manage or figure out how to cope with their children’s intense anger. I don’t think the anger or the intensity in and of itself is dangerous or bad, and it is useful to have tools to support the healthy release of these intense emotions, whether it is rooted in anger or anxiety or anything else. I both teach and use daily the parenting tools of connection offered by non-profit, Hand in Hand Parenting. These tools can help parents weather any intense emotional storm their child may be willing to show with calm, grace and warmth. While I can imagine the deep desire to avoid the intense emotional storms altogether, I think that gifted children may benefit from a healthy release of supported emotion, especially at times when all their other, more apparent needs have been met (food, sleep, play, etc.). When gifted children have a safe container to release their intense emotions, I believe they are happier, more creative, more interested and capable of learning new things, because the emotional gunk has been cleared out. I say this as a parent and as an instructor of parents who have used these tools and seen this happen again and again.
I am very happy to have come across this article. I have been praying for help . I am raising my 11 year old grandson who has had many labels and gone through tons of trauma. Because of all this and advice from his Drs. I am homeschooling him using Liberty Christian College K-12.
I love it so I just want to say thanks for your posts, looking forward to the help from you.